They Call It 'The Shred' For A Reason

I did Jillian Michael's 'The 30 Day Shred' for the first time last night. I now know why it's called 'The Shred'...it's because it hurts....so much. Kind of like if you decided that it would be fun to grate your thighs over a million shards of glass and then run a marathon with 5 million squats at the end. That would pretty much cover the warm up section of this DVD.

Good times.

She uses 3 levels in this specific DVD and suggests that you stay on each level for 10 days a piece. Hence, the "30" in the title. Following me? Now, prior to starting, you should take your measurements because even though there are claims that you lose 10 pounds on average during this workout...I've heard that you lose much more in inches because of the increase in muscle tone.

Guess who forgot to take her measurements last night?

Yeeeeeaahhhh...I'll do that tonight. Really.

The only equipment needed for this workout are hand weights and a mat if you plan on working out on a hard surface...3 pound weights are the suggested starting weight but since I could only find *1* of my 3 pound weights because the other one is probably being used as a Barbie sailboat somewhere, I used my 5 pound weights. I strongly suggest that you start with 3 pound weights...just trust me.

Jillian frightens me. I feel like I need to make her proud and keep her from jumping through the TV screen and killing me at the same time. It's a tingly feeling. At one point she's talking about an alternative move for jumping jacks and she looks directly into the camera and says something along the lines of: "There is no alternative for jumping jacks...I have 400 pound people who do jumping jacks...YOU can do them too." I think her eyes may have glowed red for a split second but maybe that was just my retinas starting to bleed.

She also used phrases like:

"Pain is just fear leaving the body..."

"Abs like these you have to work for..."

"I demand your first born child and a signature in blood..."

Just kidding on that last one. That must have happened in my head one of the times I blacked out doing crunches or butt kicks.

Today I'm sore and walking slightly crooked but I'll be pushing play again tonight for another round of pain and humiliation in the hopes that I will see my long lost abs in oh, 30 days.