The Final Countdown

The journey is almost complete for me. Look at my countdown clock and you'll see that I have less than 20 days to go until the 5K that I originally set out to train for. In the meantime, I've managed to go from running less than half of a mile to running a little over 3 straight miles and I'll let you in on a little secret...I could probably run farther than that. I've had great runs and terrible runs...gosh, that just doesn't sound right, does it?

I've had minor injuries, I've ran through rain, cold, heat, wind, hills, and vicious dogs; so what if they were on the other side of a fence? Stop judging me. I've pushed myself to the limit and I've wimped out and accepted that some days you're the pigeon and other days you're the statue; if you know what I mean. I ran my first 5K almost 2 months before I had planned to ever run that distance. I gained a running buddy who makes these workouts and planning these races bearable; she has never let me give up and she wouldn't let me beat myself up for missed workouts.

I still don't really like running. I'm just not a natural born runner. I'm going to keep doing it though because there were those that thought I'd never stick to it; that it was passing phase. I love to prove people wrong. It's that sadistic streak I have in me. I mean, it's not like I carry a whip and make people kiss my feet or anything...I just like to have the satisfaction of knowing that I did something that others thought I wouldn't and/or couldn't do. Those "In Your Face" moments are priceless; call me what you will.

I dare you.

I'm kidding.

Sort of.

The question in my mind now is: Do I stop blogging? The event that I started this blog for is almost here and gone. Do I continue with the running theme or do you think I could throw some other useless experiences that I have on here? Does anyone even care?

Good-bye, cruel world!

I'm so dramatic.

I guess I'll make the decision to continue on with some form of verbal vomit after I finish The Rose Run and post about that. This was one of the best decisions that I've made for myself, I have to admit. I found strength that I didn't know I had and I have been able to accept the areas of weakness also.

Thanks, Rose for being that inspiration and not indigestion.

Water You Lookin' At?

To keep with the theme of hydration I would like to add a rant. About water bottles. There is this new fad that has taken over the universe of bottled water...this fad is the "eco-friendly, 50% plastic" water bottle. In other words, it's a piece of crap water bottle that is so thin the minute you open it even the most delicate of grip will send the water shooting out the top of the bottle onto anything and everything within at least a mile radius.

Take my most recent bottled water purchase. Please. Har-dee-har-har.

Seriously, I'm sitting at my desk and gently I open the cap and a tidal wave of $2.00 water splashes down my arm, drenches paperwork on my desk, and splashes all over the crotch of my light grey dress pants...can you say "somebody looks like they could use some Depends"? Argh.

I'm all about saving the earth and all the baby animals and peace and harmony, recycling and reusing but I'm putting my foot down. Right. Now. I want the old, 50% more plastic, eco-unfriendly but non-geyser like water bottles back. I need hydration on the inside not the outside you tree-hugging, Birkenstock wearing, bottle manufacturing, hippies! I don't want to feel like I need to don a raincoat just to open my Aquafina!

I need to go put some dry pants on.

Pee Like A Racehorse...

I have new respect for this phrase...which I actually happen to use a lot. I'm not even really sure what it means. Let's see...Oh, Yahoo Answers, my dear friend, holder of all knowledge of pointless thoughts and things tell me what this means...

"Racehorses are commonly given Lasix ( aka Salix) which is a powerful diuretic. They pee a lot right before they race, we're talking gallons and gallons. The medication is thought to help prevent nasal bleeding, which sometimes happens when racehorses supremely over-exert themselves."

Aha. That makes sense now. So, onto the reason for the chart posted up there. It's a pee chart. You can compare the color of your pee to see how close or not you are to dehydration. Print it out and laminate it for handy use at festivals, restaurants and beach trips!

You can thank me later.

**Just in case you can't read the captions under each color swatch-and really, you need to because they are freaking hilarious! From left to right...

1. Overly hydrated spectator

2. Hydrated spectator

3. Spectator with mild hangover

4. Spectator who jogged to several viewing points

5. Well-hydrated walker/jogger who made it to mile 19.

6. Finisher who got to know everybody's names at all water stations

7. Ran well within heart rate threshold, was able to chat throughout race

8. Pushed body steadily throughout race, no major surges, achieved goal time

9. Looked at The Wall at mile 23 and pushed through it. PR'd. Ideal level of exertion and common sense.

10. Laughed when body said slow down. Negative split the marathon. Still able to go to the post race party.

11. Ignored critical water stations to shave seconds. Party is a big maybe.

12. Whoopsie. This level of masochism has a name **"Rhabdomyolysis". Skip party. See doctor.

**Rhabdomyolysis-is the breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream. Some of these are harmful to the kidney and frequently result in kidney damage. Fun stuff.

That's How I Roll

So, here I am minding my own business getting ready for this 5K when BAM! I hit a wall.

No, I hadn't been drinking and it was not a literal wall.

An inspiration brick wall. Kind of like writer's block but it's runner's block. Are you following me here? I was able to prove to myself that I could run a 5K and now I'm just not all that impressed by it. At all. Yep, I pretty much think that I have got to be the world's biggest wimp that I'm not jumping up and down at the thought of a 10K or a half marathon.

I guess it's normal human behavior to want to reach higher and higher...but I digress into a Van Halen song...

I haven't been on a long run in at least a week. I'm ashamed and not looking forward to the pain that I will put myself through on my next run. I know that I will swear that my shins are going to explode, I will get a stitch in my side that feels like one of my kidneys is trying to gnaw it's way out of my body and I will look like a winded hippo. What a picture.

Get this though, The Sprite is actually getting into running. She got a jogging stroller for her daughter even. She woke up early one morning and ran. On the weekend. Very impressive. She even mapped out a new route for us to run.

Before long we'll tackle that 10K and maybe even a half marathon...but then again maybe I'll just try to keep my expectations more realistic.

Rewind

Whoops! Forgot to post the place that I took in that there yonder 5K mentioned below. In my age group, 30-34 year olds, I placed 37th out of 162 people. Yay me.

That still doesn't change the fact that an 80 year old man still came in well before me.

*sigh*

I knew you were on the edge of your seat just waiting for that information.

That is all. Over and out. 10-4 good buddy.

Kicking Asphalt

Here it is. The proof that I ran in the 5K. This is a picture that I HATE. I LOATHE this picture with all of my heart and soul. I look like I'm doing some strange half run, half walk, half dying thing. Not only that but of course I look like a giant next to The Sprite. Now, I know that I have been protecting her from the spotlight...didn't want to embarrass her or anything.

That is all over.

I want to preface this by saying that I love Alicia The Sprite, I do but she posted race pictures of her and I on Facebook. She says that I should be proud of them and I am but I look like crap and place me next to her and I look like crap with an extra side of crap. She's bouncing along all sprite-like and I'm all hips, thighs and sweat next to her.

Moving on...The night before the run I made sure that I was in bed early, I iced my shins, took Advil, coated my legs with Sports Creme, drank what felt like gallons of water and went to bed early. We're talking 9:00pm early. I had a nightmare about not being able to wake up and missing the race. It was awful and anxiety producing to say the very least.

I woke up at 6:30am because we had to pick up our race packets by 8:15am in downtown Ann Arbor. As we drove into Ann Arbor we saw people actually running to pick up their packets. These people were running to a run. It boggles the mind. Since we had to pick up our packets by 8:15am and the race didn't start until 9:05am we had some time to kill once we got to the starting area. The Sprite and I decided to spend that time freezing our asses off and making fun of the other people that were there. Oh and feeling inadequate when we spotted not just one but two very pregnant woman who were going to participate in the race.

There was the guy who wore a kilt which prompted me to wonder if he was wearing it the traditional way; sans underthings. Then there was the girl who walked around with half of her very short shorts tucked into her underwear-how did she not feel a draft? There was a crotchety old guy that went on and on to the guy next to him about how there were "no REAL runners here at all! Just look at these people!" That was annoying. Finally, as I was eavesdropping on yet another conversation, I found the biggest tool there. Imagine a skinny, short, middle aged guy dressed in spandex gear and holding a Starbucks cup.

Got it so far? Let your imagination take over.

As he's standing there sipping on his venti-grande-latte-low-fat-no-foam-extra-caf-overpriced coffee his friend walks up. Mr. Starbucks, who I will now call The Tool from now on, slaps his friend on the shoulder and says very loudly and with utter seriousness: "I hope you brought your 'A' game!!"

Oh yes he did. At a 5K. Wearing spandex and sipping his Starbucks. What a major tool. I've been trying to convince The Sprite to have tshirts made with that saying on them but she just rolls her eyes at me and tells me to shut the heck up. Not really. She just rolls her eyes at me but wouldn't that make her seem tough?

As we lined up for the starting line I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up. I have a bad habit of throwing up when I get anxious about things. The Sprite told me that I needed to relax. Sure. It took us 9 minutes and 8 seconds to get to the starting line after the gun went off. We were like cattle being sent to slaughter and I even muttered a "moo" at one point. After that everything was a bit of a blur. There were a lot of hills. I am convinced that hills are sent from hades now. I've never run hills and I know now why I don't run them. They are pain inducing mounds of evil.

Some of the highlights that I remember from the race include the fact that we were almost run over by several strollers when we were running downhill on a gravel section of the course, The lady that had Prince playing so loudly from her ear buds that I felt like I was at a dance club and the fact that I wanted to stop so badly at about mile 2 1/2 that I had to beg Alicia to not let me. The spectators were great. They were so encouraging!

Finally, the finish line was in view. I was almost afraid it was just a mirage that my battered body had conjured up. The finish line was actually uphill, it wasn't steep but it was a steady incline. How cruel is that? As we neared the finish I got a sudden burst of adrenaline and sprinted the last 50ft or so. Then it was all over. I was handed a water bottle and ushered out. That was when the muscle pains started and have not stopped. It was worth it though. It really was.

I'm looking forward to my next organized run. Just don't tell anyone I said that.

A Call For Prayers!

OK, I know I still haven't posted the gory details of my run or pictures but listen, you guys know I'm a super dork and I'll get it all up in due time...maybe tonight? Don't hold me to that though.

I just found out that Carrie Samples (this girl is an inspiration to all of us for real) has to go back in for another surgery. I don't know the details but she may have posted it on her page which is linked over there on my sidebar...do you see it? No, it's on the right and down a bit...there you go.

Click on it. Read her story. I dare you not to want to do something, anything about cancer and all it affects. If you are not amazed by this little chicky you are not human.

Above all, regardless of what your spiritual persuasion may be, pray for her...send her positive energy...light a candle...um...whatever you choose to do is up to you but keep her in your thoughts.

Go Carrie!

Proof Someone Actually READS My Blog

So, I got an award. It's soooo fun. Actually I got 2 awards but only one actually had directions on what to do with it so since I'm new to this blog thing I'm going to just run with it. Excuse the really bad pun.

The steps to becoming a Queen are...(I hope I can figure this out.)

1. List Seven Things That Make You Awe-Summm!

2. Pass the award on to seven bloggers you read religiously.

3. Tag those seven bloggers.

4. Don't forget to link the Queen that tagged you.

5. Copy the pic of the Queen and put it on your sidebar.

Seven Things That Make Me Awe-Summm are:

1. I cut the plastic rings from soda apart before I throw them away so that animals don't get caught in them. Love those furry, feathered, fish-face friends!

2. I can and will and DO laugh at myself.

3. I can do a mean Running Man.

4. I don't hold grudges. Seriously, I've really tried to do this and trust me there are somethings that I should hold grudges about but it's a totally impossible thing for me to do.

5. I have a container veggie garden on my back deck and they've survived almost a month. I think that's pretty frickin' awesummmm.

6. I ran my first 5K May 31 and I lived.

7. I can blow a bubble inside another bubble using Hubba Bubba gum. Bubble Gum flavor only.

I now nominate the following blogs as QUEEN! Some are old, some are new, some are borrowed and some are....blue? Eek, sorry about that, Daddy Scratches...

This Complicated Life

Vodka Mom

Fawty

Daddy Scratches (Hey, men can be royalty too!)

Life With Heathens

Comedy Goddess

Mom Who Drinks and Cusses