Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Kicking Asphalt

Here it is. The proof that I ran in the 5K. This is a picture that I HATE. I LOATHE this picture with all of my heart and soul. I look like I'm doing some strange half run, half walk, half dying thing. Not only that but of course I look like a giant next to The Sprite. Now, I know that I have been protecting her from the spotlight...didn't want to embarrass her or anything.

That is all over.

I want to preface this by saying that I love Alicia The Sprite, I do but she posted race pictures of her and I on Facebook. She says that I should be proud of them and I am but I look like crap and place me next to her and I look like crap with an extra side of crap. She's bouncing along all sprite-like and I'm all hips, thighs and sweat next to her.

Moving on...The night before the run I made sure that I was in bed early, I iced my shins, took Advil, coated my legs with Sports Creme, drank what felt like gallons of water and went to bed early. We're talking 9:00pm early. I had a nightmare about not being able to wake up and missing the race. It was awful and anxiety producing to say the very least.

I woke up at 6:30am because we had to pick up our race packets by 8:15am in downtown Ann Arbor. As we drove into Ann Arbor we saw people actually running to pick up their packets. These people were running to a run. It boggles the mind. Since we had to pick up our packets by 8:15am and the race didn't start until 9:05am we had some time to kill once we got to the starting area. The Sprite and I decided to spend that time freezing our asses off and making fun of the other people that were there. Oh and feeling inadequate when we spotted not just one but two very pregnant woman who were going to participate in the race.

There was the guy who wore a kilt which prompted me to wonder if he was wearing it the traditional way; sans underthings. Then there was the girl who walked around with half of her very short shorts tucked into her underwear-how did she not feel a draft? There was a crotchety old guy that went on and on to the guy next to him about how there were "no REAL runners here at all! Just look at these people!" That was annoying. Finally, as I was eavesdropping on yet another conversation, I found the biggest tool there. Imagine a skinny, short, middle aged guy dressed in spandex gear and holding a Starbucks cup.

Got it so far? Let your imagination take over.

As he's standing there sipping on his venti-grande-latte-low-fat-no-foam-extra-caf-overpriced coffee his friend walks up. Mr. Starbucks, who I will now call The Tool from now on, slaps his friend on the shoulder and says very loudly and with utter seriousness: "I hope you brought your 'A' game!!"

Oh yes he did. At a 5K. Wearing spandex and sipping his Starbucks. What a major tool. I've been trying to convince The Sprite to have tshirts made with that saying on them but she just rolls her eyes at me and tells me to shut the heck up. Not really. She just rolls her eyes at me but wouldn't that make her seem tough?

As we lined up for the starting line I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up. I have a bad habit of throwing up when I get anxious about things. The Sprite told me that I needed to relax. Sure. It took us 9 minutes and 8 seconds to get to the starting line after the gun went off. We were like cattle being sent to slaughter and I even muttered a "moo" at one point. After that everything was a bit of a blur. There were a lot of hills. I am convinced that hills are sent from hades now. I've never run hills and I know now why I don't run them. They are pain inducing mounds of evil.

Some of the highlights that I remember from the race include the fact that we were almost run over by several strollers when we were running downhill on a gravel section of the course, The lady that had Prince playing so loudly from her ear buds that I felt like I was at a dance club and the fact that I wanted to stop so badly at about mile 2 1/2 that I had to beg Alicia to not let me. The spectators were great. They were so encouraging!

Finally, the finish line was in view. I was almost afraid it was just a mirage that my battered body had conjured up. The finish line was actually uphill, it wasn't steep but it was a steady incline. How cruel is that? As we neared the finish I got a sudden burst of adrenaline and sprinted the last 50ft or so. Then it was all over. I was handed a water bottle and ushered out. That was when the muscle pains started and have not stopped. It was worth it though. It really was.

I'm looking forward to my next organized run. Just don't tell anyone I said that.


Belle said...

Running? Come on Melanie...don't tell me you enjoyed it? That's like exercise or something, isn't it?

Melanie said...

HA! I know, right? No, I really don't enjoy it while I'm actually doing it. I dont know what's wrong with me.

It's a sickness.

@silverpeanut said...

I don't appreciate you making fun of my spandex gear.


I thought the Mr Starbucks/Spandex thingie was a myth... I heard other people saw him too and apparently had similar feelings about him... wow.

Anyway Congrats on your race!! :D

great pic!

Melanie said...

Not a myth, grasshopper. Thanks and good job to you too!

About the spandex...*sigh* is evil and must be destroyed.