Really?

Oh gawd...are you serious? How many walls can one ridiculously slow runner hit before she feels that running may really not be her "thing"? I have to run...I have to run...I have to run. But do I, really? When can I expect to start enjoying the run? When do my shins start to feel good during a run? When will my legs carry me faster than a 10 minute mile? I feel like a geriatric midget. I want to run faster but it seems that my body does not want to run faster. Maybe I could convince someone to find a rabid pit bull and let it chase me? I think that would help me run faster.

Maybe.

Then again, I may just decide to give up and become din din for the rabid pit bull. I think I'd go well with a nice Chianti, don't you think?

I believe that my answer is intervals. Now I just have to figure out how intervals work. From what I've read, intervals are sprinting and jogging mixed into one painful, horrible, mind challenging run. I've heard they work for increasing speed and distance. If I'm wrong I'd love someone to throw me a bone here...

Picture Perfect...

Pre-race check in...At this point, panic and anxiety had set in. Good thing the porta-potties were right there. Ah, anxiety.

Very near the finish line. Proof that I have lost my mind: The smile on my face. Running and smiling should not go hand in hand. That would indicate that running is enjoyable and not the painful torture it truly is. I am guilty of false adverstisement here.

The Sprite and I taking our place sticks. Still smiling...Why? Oh, that's right, because I was done running.

Full blown laughter. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was the pure joy coursing through my veins because my lungs did not explode and both my knees were still functioning.

**Photos taken by Jason Miller www.toledophotoguy.com

The Rose Run

I did it!

The Rose Run was yesterday, July 18, 2009 at 8:30 am in Petersburg, Michigan. There was a fantastic turnout and it was inspiring and painful at the same time. There was the physical pain of the run, of course...I mean, who do you think I am? But at the same time, there was the pain of heartbreak and loss during the many times that I stopped and actually realized why I was there.

Rose is gone.

Rose, the mother of one of my very best childhood friends is gone. The woman who baked the most outstanding chocolate chip cookies, who always had a smile on her face, who welcomed everyone into her home...the woman who knew me from the time I was in elementary school through college...weddings and babies; was not there. We wouldn't be running this race, we wouldn't have to, if she was still with us. It was a bittersweet moment.

As I lined up with the Sprite at the starting line; I stood there and looked around at the faces of old friends, Rose's family members, and faces of people who never knew Rose. I know that she would have been proud of everyone but most of all, she would have been overwhelmed with pride for her daughter, Jessica, who organized the event.

As we waited at the starting line, we were all handed a red balloon with a tag on it that simply stated: "In honor and memory Rose Marie Hunt". We released the balloons at the start of the race and it was a beautiful statement. Rose would have loved it I'm sure. There were several times during the race that I begged the Sprite not to let me stop...I had hurt my knee somehow the day prior to the race and that was bothering me. I kept going though with the support of her. Darn it, I wanted to stop a few times though! Running hurts. *sigh*

You know what the kicker is? I put my name in a raffle to win a free entry for next year's Rose Run and I won. Is that a sign that I can't quit running? I think so. Jessica called me today to tell me that they had drawn my name. I was so excited and then I realized that this means I can't stop running...I have to keep it up. I'm good with that. I can't believe it but I am happy to have that goal to keep me going. Whatever it takes, right? So, be prepared for more whining and sarcasm from me in the future about running and any other physical fitness obsessions I may take on.

Thanks, Rose. I know you were there yesterday looking down on all of us. You're missed by everyone who knew you. Below is a quote from Rose prior to her passing away...Jessica asked her what advice she wanted to pass on and this is what she said...

"Be Happy. Be a family. That's it." -Rose Hunt

I think that says it all. Don't you?

Gone Running

*Nike women's running campaign ad

Self-Reflection

There are moments in life that cause us to step back, pause, and re-evaluate who we are, what we do, and where we are going. Throughout the last few months of training I've discovered much about who I am deep down inside. Sometimes I wasn't very happy with what I found...stubbornness and the lack of willpower were the 2 things that I have faced over and over again head on. It was a constant test of my resolve when I got home at night, usually at 6:30 or 7:00 pm to get out and run or move my body in some way other than lifting dinner into my mouth and flopping down on the couch. I have to admit that guilt has been creeping in there lately too. Sometimes my daughter will look at me and beg me not to go for a run or workout. She just wants me and that's all there is to it. I give in sometimes because she is ultimately the most important thing in this life to me. That's when the guilt from not running or working out kicks in. Does it ever end?

I tell myself if I had better work hours or a cleaning service or prepared more meals the night before then things would be easier. I have this running banter in my head everyday! It's enough to make someone wither into a blubbering mess of ridiculousness, seriously. I try to convince myself that I'm setting a good example for my little munchkin and she'll learn the importance of health and exercise from me. Will she? Am I kidding myself? I grew up in a household with 2 parents who were thin naturally, they didn't have to exercise and I value physical health. Perhaps I just notice that I'm physically different from my parents and if I don't exercise I'll become horribly overweight. Even with exercise I have several pounds that I need to lose....*sigh*

This is a heavy post, eh? Shoot...does anyone have a caffeinated, mocha, Valium, Prozac, latte handy?

A Bit Of Anxiety

Look at my countdown clock over yonder-------------->

Less than a week to go.

*breathing into a paperbag*

I'm feeling a bit woozy.

Why I Don't Need A Personal Trainer

I have a daughter, Megan; she's 6 years old and she is now acting like Richard Simmons incarnate. I asked her on Sunday if she'd like to ride her bike with me while I ran and she gave a very enthusiastic "YES!" to me. Great, I thought, I can get her outside and get my run done at the same time. Brilliant idea. Bravo, I say.

What was I thinking?!? Did you know that a 6 year old can ride their bike approximately 963.2 miles per hour? Did you know that at that speed they cannot hear their winded hippo of a mother screaming in a slightly emphysemic tone to "SLOW DOWN!"? Neither did I.

So, later that same night, in my never ending genius way of thinking I ask Megan: "Do you want to do a workout video with Mommy tomorrow?" and of course in her best Richard Simmons imitation she says: "YES!" At this point you may be asking yourself what I was thinking and my honest answer is that I have no idea, maybe exhaustion from sprinting after my 6 year old had clouded my judgement. Moving on...

My phone rang today. Seems her father thought it was wise to let her call me. Do you want to know what the first words out of her mouth were? "Mommy, remember you said I could work out with you today? What are we going to do? Which video are we going to play? What's Tae Bo?...." That's the only reason she wanted to call me. She didn't beg to go play at her friend's house, she didn't ask where her Webkinz were; the only reason she called was to remind me that we were working out and I wasn't getting out of it. You have got to be kidding me. Is this some kind of divine intervention? Has God decided that the only way to motivate me is through my little girl morphing into some fitness dictator?

The child is harder on me than a personal trainer but at least I don't have to pay her.

Like A Sloth...Only Taller And With Less Fur...

I admit it, people; I've been lazy. Not "lazy" as in "I-didn't-run-for-2-days-and-I-drank-whole-milk-instead-of-2%-lazy"..."lazy" as in "I-haven't-run-since-last-week-and-I-have-a-5K-that-I'm-running-in-my-hometown-which-means-that-I'm-going-to-have-to-get-my-butt-in-gear-or-suffer-the-embarrassment-of-mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation-by-someone-on-the-volunteer- fire-department-that-probably-graduated-from-high-school-at-least-8-years-after-me-lazy".

Are we on the same page?

Good.

Oh, Power 90 and Tim?...Tom?...OHHHHH, it's TONY Horton. Tim makes wicked donuts, Tom was a guy I went to high school with; but Tony Horton, however, is the fitness nazi in the Power 90 videos and he HATES me. I had a plan, a glorious plan, to not only run but to incorporate the Power 90 videos, the strength training portion, into my workouts. I lasted a day. Yes, 1 day. So here I am a couple of weeks away, give or take a few days, and I'm not doing so hot. Yet, the only thing I seem to be truly concerned about is where we'll be able to park the day of the race. What is wrong with me? I mean, I don't want to have to park too far away because then I'll use up all my precious energy walking to the starting line, right? As we've explored before, I am NOT one of those freaks of nature who runs to a run. No, sir. That does not make my boat float at all, my friends.

I need to refocus. Instead of parking anxiety, I should figure out how not to die or embarrass myself in...oh...11 or so days.