WOO-freaking-HOOOO!

I ran 2 miles.

Without stopping.

Just now.

I mean, at one point I was "running" so slowly that I might as well have been walking.

I may actually be able to walk faster than I was running during that last 1/2 mile...

Nah.

I'm schweaty.

I hurt.

I definitely need new shoes because I think my baby toenail is getting loose.

Gross.

But at least you can't smell me from where you are.

Things could be worse.

I RAN 2 FLIPPING MILES!!!!!

10 Out Of 10 People Agree...

Anyone who has read anything that I've written over the past month or so knows that I love to whine. About everything. The physical pain of running is no fun for me. I've never been a strong runner. My legs are short and when running with other people that have average length legs I have to take about 2 strides to their 1. Place me with a running partner any taller than average and there is just no way that I can keep up without falling over from a massive coronary. It's helpful when I'm wallowing in my self-pity to remind myself why I'm doing this.

I have more than one person who inspires me to keep on keepin' on. Of course there's Rose, ever optimistic and uplifting throughout her battle and my original inspiration to run in this event. Then there's Carrie, young and beautiful and overwhelmingly brave. One of my closest friends, Missy, had to put her goal of having a family to get treatment for cancer. She emerged with a wonderful sense of humor and a beautiful baby boy. As I stop to think about the people that have touched my life on one level or another I realize just how many have been attacked by this monstrous disease. I wonder if they ever stopped to feel sorry for themselves? If anyone is entitled to do that, cancer victims are surely one group that has earned that luxury.

There are strangers that I see in public that wear pink ribbons for themselves or a loved one. I've seen women and children that wear a scarf to protect a head that is missing hair. I wonder what their stories are. I hurt for them and their family. I think about all of the people who have had close calls with cancer. I've felt the fear when a friend tells me that they don't know what it is but "the test results will be back next week". I've felt the rush of relief when those results are negative and the grief when they aren't. This disease blows. I'm running so that hopefully my daughter doesn't have to go through the awful anxiety that this causes.

*sigh*

Have no fear, my sarcasm is merely on a union ordered lunch...It will be back in 30 minutes. Hey, don't laugh, those union standards are strict...

Hello, My Name Is: Swampfoot

The most wonderful part of living in Michigan isn't the potholes, the year-round construction, or the fact that at any time most of our pocket change is Canadian...the most wonderful thing about Michigan is the weather. Yep. During most weeks it can and will and does rain, snow, reach 80 degrees, and just for fun, we may get some fog. See, I've lived in this grand, mitten-shaped state for all of my 31 years and I've never had the intelligence to move someplace more...balanced weather-wise. That doesn't mean that I don't get upset or even mind-numbingly angry when we have 70 degree weather one day and freezing rain the next. Running to me is torturous enough without added environmental stress...like large, bottomless puddles.

I'm dedicated though; die hard!

It was during last night's run that I realized very quickly that my shoes are not even close to being waterproof...and I look like a drunken hobo when I run on grass trying to avoid above mentioned puddles. Luckily, I had on proper socks or my feet would have been a blistering mess. I kept going though and finished my second 1 1/2 mile run.

Ah, Michigan...America's soggy, left hand.

I Got Attacked by a Bird

Yes, I was attacked by not just one birdie but TWO blood thirsty, maniacal birds on Saturday. No, it wasn't while I was running and technically, they didn't "attack" me in the literal sense of the word but the title of this pulled you in, didn't it? Don't roll your eyes at me...I'm crying out for attention here, people. So there I was minding my own business, sitting in the sunshine on Alicia's (yes, Alicia the Sprite's) back porch on Saturday when out of nowhere two insane birds that were clearly fighting with each other fell on my arm. I was already feeling guilty about the fact that I was avoiding running in favor of sloth and a glass of red wine. It was like the running gods sent an avian warning to me in the form of these birds. I showed them though; I didn't heed their warning and decided to eat their cousin, fried chicken, for dinner instead of strapping on my running shoes. I'm a weak person. Do not fear though, my loyal readers (reader? Mom?), I ran a full 1 1/2 miles on Sunday, outdoors. I'm proud to say all 7,920 feet of my run was completely bird-free from both flying and fried varieties.

You don't seem impressed by this fact.

Let me tell you that this is the FIRST time I've ever ran 1 1/2 miles, outside, in my life. EVER. Yes, I ran that distance on the treadmill, aka The Hated One, but that doesn't really count, does it? It's good exercise and all that but running out in the elements really proves something. It proves...um...well, it proves that I'm safe for almost the first half of this 5K because I will not need the volunteers to administer CPR, an oxygen mask, or call me a taxi cab. It's a good thing that they won't have to call a taxi for me too because this run is in Petersburg where there are 3 bars and 3 churches within 1 mile of each other but no cabs. Seriously. I think after all this is over with I'd rather have a bar than a cab anyhow.

*The birds that did a fly-by on me were Grackles. Even the name sounds mean. Just look at the picture of that one above...that is a face that should strike fear into hearts everywhere. Does anyone remember 'The Birds'?

Fear And His Friend, Self-Doubt

For must of us, starting something new is frightening. I have a certain comfort zone as I'm sure most others have also and when I breach the boundaries of it I tend to get nervous. When I made the decision to start training for a running event I knew that I was stepping outside the area in which I was cozy and warm and into territory I have always considered one of my worst nightmares. Even though I've been questioning my sanity since the minute I made this decision to train to run I've never really been struck with too much fear. Last night I was minding my own business when out of nowhere I realized that I had less that 100 days until this 5K to get my butt ready. If you don't believe me, check out my countdown clock over there on the right. Do you see it? Yep, that's less than 100 days-eek. The farthest I've run is 1 1/2 miles and I'm supposed to be able to make it 3.1 miles without stopping?!? This is where I'm going to write out my fears and tell myself why they are absolutely ridiculous (hopefully, I'll listen to myself.)

Fear: What if I'm not ready?
Why this is ridiculous: I've given myself more than enough time to train for this event, I have taken it at a pace that a 96 year old woman with no toes could handle just to be sure I don't injure myself and I have my family and friends support(not to mention one great sports bra.). Hey, don't laugh, you have no idea how uncomfortable a bad sports bra can be. *shudder*

Fear: What if I fail?
Why this is ridiculous: I seem to be repeating myself...see answer above.

Fear: What if I'm the last person to finish the 5K?
Why this is ridiculous: Actually, this is just reality. I'll just be happy to finish the 5K. Beggars can't be choosers and all that junk.

Fear: How high was I when I made the decision that not only would I do this but that I could do this?
Why this is ridiculous: People twice my age with no legs have finished marathons...that's 26 odd miles! I am a perfectly healthy woman that is capable of running a little over 3 miles.

Fear: Can I actually be high while running this 5K?
Why this is ridiculous: If I take enough Advil that may not be a bad plan actually...

Fear: I will humiliate myself in front of my hometown and old classmates if I have to be resuscitated by the volunteer fire department.
Why this is ridiculous: I've known most of these people since I was born. I've done enough in that time to completely humiliate myself for years to come-why should I worry about running in front of them? This is minor compared to the time I fell out of a pyramid when I was a freshman cheerleader at the first pep assembly of the year...in front of the entire school...Yeah, I think I'm good.

This Is Just A Test...

I took a short hiatus from running not by choice but because I think that I caught the slowpainfuldeath virus. Have you heard of it? It starts off as a harmless tickle in the throat, which turns into a tolerable sore throat, that turns into the most excruciatingly painful sore throat EVER. Then it takes the rest of the body down in the form of aching joints, sleeplessness and finally, oh this is the BEST part, nausea followed by yarking my guts out for a full 24 hours. So, you'll have to pardon the fact that I have not been my chipper self. I'm rarely sick and it's even more rare for me to be so sick I'm stuck in bed not able or willing to move. I was on such a good streak as far as running goes before I was struck down with the virus from Hell that I'm a bit concerned about how I'm going to do tonight after not running for 5 days. Not to mention my back and feet are rejoicing at all the endless rest time they've been given. I can practically hear them saying: "Hey, we thought you were serious about all that running mumbo jumbo! We forgive you, now pass the popcorn." They are going to be very annoyed when they realize that this was a temporary pause in my new way of life. Oh well, I haven't had to use massive doses of Advil in DAYS I was kind of missing trying to gag down those little painkilling pills. I may be facing a complete mutiny by my body but I'm running tonight...this is more important than some minor muscle aches and pains.

Running Nowhere

I had to run on the treadmill last night because of the wind and snow and cold...did I mention it's April?!? Welcome to Michigan my home sweet home. It's less than a week away from Easter and almost 3 weeks into "Spring" and there is snow on the ground here. So have pity on me when I wimp out and run on the treadmill aka sweater dryer. At least I ran. I wanted to sit on the couch and doze instead. Will my lazy bone ever stop all the complaining? I'm really not sure. I did run an 11 minute mile which is pretty good in my mind. Considering the fact that 3 weeks ago exercise to me was standing up while cooking dinner and now I'm running a full mile without stopping; you betcha it's pretty darn good! I think that the absolute worst part about running on a treadmill is how painfully aware I am that I'm truly just running nowhere. It's very eerie when you realize you are mimicking one of those little hamsters running in a wheel. Seriously, where is the fun in that? At least when I run outside the scenery changes...beige house, car, sidewalk, gray house, dog, beige house...With the treadmill, I stare at the same thing the entire time: white wall. Snooze. The danger in the monotony is the fact that I'm not as graceful as I fancy myself to be. This means that I trip. A lot. Over nothing. In a matter of 20 minutes on the treadmill I managed to trip about 3 times. This leads me to believe that running on the treadmill is hazardous to my health. I have these horrible visions of me falling and being flung across the room like a Muppet. I know what you're thinking: "You don't have to worry about that if you wear the safety thing that shuts off the treadmill if it becomes detached." Blah, blah, blah. I wear it but that doesn't stop me from thinking that my treadmill could malfunction causing me to Muppet myself across the basement. Don't judge me. Tonight, it's off to the races again only I'll be running outside AND I'm adding some more distance. Bring it on.