Monday, April 20, 2009

I Got Attacked by a Bird

Yes, I was attacked by not just one birdie but TWO blood thirsty, maniacal birds on Saturday. No, it wasn't while I was running and technically, they didn't "attack" me in the literal sense of the word but the title of this pulled you in, didn't it? Don't roll your eyes at me...I'm crying out for attention here, people. So there I was minding my own business, sitting in the sunshine on Alicia's (yes, Alicia the Sprite's) back porch on Saturday when out of nowhere two insane birds that were clearly fighting with each other fell on my arm. I was already feeling guilty about the fact that I was avoiding running in favor of sloth and a glass of red wine. It was like the running gods sent an avian warning to me in the form of these birds. I showed them though; I didn't heed their warning and decided to eat their cousin, fried chicken, for dinner instead of strapping on my running shoes. I'm a weak person. Do not fear though, my loyal readers (reader? Mom?), I ran a full 1 1/2 miles on Sunday, outdoors. I'm proud to say all 7,920 feet of my run was completely bird-free from both flying and fried varieties.

You don't seem impressed by this fact.

Let me tell you that this is the FIRST time I've ever ran 1 1/2 miles, outside, in my life. EVER. Yes, I ran that distance on the treadmill, aka The Hated One, but that doesn't really count, does it? It's good exercise and all that but running out in the elements really proves something. It, it proves that I'm safe for almost the first half of this 5K because I will not need the volunteers to administer CPR, an oxygen mask, or call me a taxi cab. It's a good thing that they won't have to call a taxi for me too because this run is in Petersburg where there are 3 bars and 3 churches within 1 mile of each other but no cabs. Seriously. I think after all this is over with I'd rather have a bar than a cab anyhow.

*The birds that did a fly-by on me were Grackles. Even the name sounds mean. Just look at the picture of that one above...that is a face that should strike fear into hearts everywhere. Does anyone remember 'The Birds'?


Jason Miller said...

you ate chicken as they were attacking you?? that's hilarious!!

Melanie said...

No...I ate chicken for dinner. This was AFTER the attack. It was a revenge meal.

Conrad said...

I believe one and all must look at it.
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