Thursday, April 16, 2009
Fear And His Friend, Self-Doubt
For must of us, starting something new is frightening. I have a certain comfort zone as I'm sure most others have also and when I breach the boundaries of it I tend to get nervous. When I made the decision to start training for a running event I knew that I was stepping outside the area in which I was cozy and warm and into territory I have always considered one of my worst nightmares. Even though I've been questioning my sanity since the minute I made this decision to train to run I've never really been struck with too much fear. Last night I was minding my own business when out of nowhere I realized that I had less that 100 days until this 5K to get my butt ready. If you don't believe me, check out my countdown clock over there on the right. Do you see it? Yep, that's less than 100 days-eek. The farthest I've run is 1 1/2 miles and I'm supposed to be able to make it 3.1 miles without stopping?!? This is where I'm going to write out my fears and tell myself why they are absolutely ridiculous (hopefully, I'll listen to myself.)
Fear: What if I'm not ready?
Why this is ridiculous: I've given myself more than enough time to train for this event, I have taken it at a pace that a 96 year old woman with no toes could handle just to be sure I don't injure myself and I have my family and friends support(not to mention one great sports bra.). Hey, don't laugh, you have no idea how uncomfortable a bad sports bra can be. *shudder*
Fear: What if I fail?
Why this is ridiculous: I seem to be repeating myself...see answer above.
Fear: What if I'm the last person to finish the 5K?
Why this is ridiculous: Actually, this is just reality. I'll just be happy to finish the 5K. Beggars can't be choosers and all that junk.
Fear: How high was I when I made the decision that not only would I do this but that I could do this?
Why this is ridiculous: People twice my age with no legs have finished marathons...that's 26 odd miles! I am a perfectly healthy woman that is capable of running a little over 3 miles.
Fear: Can I actually be high while running this 5K?
Why this is ridiculous: If I take enough Advil that may not be a bad plan actually...
Fear: I will humiliate myself in front of my hometown and old classmates if I have to be resuscitated by the volunteer fire department.
Why this is ridiculous: I've known most of these people since I was born. I've done enough in that time to completely humiliate myself for years to come-why should I worry about running in front of them? This is minor compared to the time I fell out of a pyramid when I was a freshman cheerleader at the first pep assembly of the year...in front of the entire school...Yeah, I think I'm good.